Mercy, In-N-Out, and All Those Other Holy & Delicious Things

Such an odd day. I'm not even sure I can describe it! But overall, it was wonderful :)

First, I read the story of when God pours out his wrath on Sodom and Gomorrah. Right before He does that, Lot sees two angels entering the city. Lot presses them strongly to spend the night in his house, so the angels turn aside and enter his house. Later that night, the angels ask Lot, "Have you anyone else here? Sons-in-law, sons, daughters, or anyone you have in the city, bring them out of the place. For we are about to destroy this place, because the outcry against its people has become great before the Lord, and the Lord has sent us to destroy it." Lot tells his one son-in-law, who thinks he's "jesting" (umm he'll find out soon enough that he wasn't joking!). Fast forward to dawn. The angels urge Lot to take his wife and daughters out of the city bfore they are destroyed with it, but he lingered (like really? Stuupid). Then the angels grab Lot, along with his wife and daughters -- "the Lord being merciful to him -- and brought them outside the city. Then you pretty much know the rest ... Lot's wife doubts and disobeys by lookng at the city in flames, turning her into a pillar of salt; spares the rest of Lot's family; and then the daughters do some really disgusting things! Anways ......... what's the point? Well, God shows a lot of mercy to Lot and his family. First, by letting the angels warn him. Second, by allowing Lot to tell his future son-in-law to flee. Third, by allowing Lot more time even when he's just meandering around (!). And lastly, by sparing the lives of Lot and his family (besides his wife, but hey, disobedience to God isn't the wisest thing to do). So much mercy! What's awesome is that the same God who showed that much mercy still shows that mercy -- to me! :)

Speaking of mercy, He must have mercy -- or maybe I should say pity -- on me. Today, I was going through the In-N-Out drive-thru for food. My order: 2 drinks, 2 fries, and 2 burgers (no, not all for myself haha). I order my food, approach the cashier, open my wallet -- and what do I have? $5 bucks. Yes, I am filthy rich ... for the record, 5 bucks does not buy you 2 drinks, 2 fries, and 2 burgers. I awkwardly admit, "uhhh I don't have enough money ... " the cashier girl replies, "umm ... okay, wait here. One sec" so she grabs who I'm assuming is the manager. He asks, "Would you want to take some items off?" I said yes, so he slowly start taking items off until I was degraded to 1 fry and 2 burgers. The total? $7.24. Crap -- STILL not enough! At this point I'm feeling kind of pathetic (and honestly, embarressed) so I tell him, "I'll just drive-thru if that's okay. I'm really sorry about that ..." but he turns to me and goes, "no, no. It's fine. I'll pay the $2 difference." I'm sort of shocked and taken aback. Again, I say awkwardly, "oh ... um, THANK you! That's so nice ... thank you very much." I got my 1 fry and 2 burgers at In-N-Out for 5 bucks! I recieved food because this man was willing to pay 2 bucks! I thank God, turn on the radio, to hear Scott (on K-love) saying how something insignificant to us makes a big difference to someone else. Well, today, I was on the recieving end, to a nice stranger at In-N-Out named Dave (well, his apron labled him that). Ahh ... God is so good :) "He provides food for those who fear him; he remembers his covenant forever." Psalm 111:5. The God of the Old Testament remembered me today ... what a thought; what a Savior.

Lastly, if you get a chance, you can help someone else who called K-love today asking we vote for Pepsi to support kids with a certain disease/disorder. All you have to do is text "105582" to the number 737-74 (if you want to know more about it, go to http://pep.si/adoCG3). Note: it ends TONIGHT so be sure to text before midnight! Hey, it's "Make a Difference Monday" and all you have to do is text a few numbers. DO IT! :)

Patience and Endurance

I hate waiting. I just dislike it on all levels. In other words, I'm really impatient. Don't get me wrong, I can be patient; but for some things, I'm definitely not patient. Today, I was complaining to Him how I hate waiting, but I really want to try and have the best attitude while I wait. Then I read Isaiah 49:8, which says, "In an acceptable time I have heard You, And in the day of salvation I have helped You."

Who am I to say I want an answer in my time? "I am not skilled to understand what God has willed; what God has planned; I only know at His right hand stands One who is my Savior." (Wise words from Aaron Shust :)

He knows better than I could ever know when to answer my questions and requests (even if that's in heaven). Now is the acceptable time; now is the day of salvation to hear me (2 Corinthians 6:2). The question is: When will He answer? And what can I do in the meantime as I wait for His answer?

Trust Jesus in a pitch dark room as He holds my hand, guiding me. All I can do is follow Him, by obeying his commands: "We put no obstacle in anyone's way, so that no fault may be found with our ministry, but as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: by great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities, beatings, imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless night, hunger; by purity, knowledge, patience, kindness, the Holy Spirit, genuine love; by truthful speech, and the power of God; with the weapons of righteousness for the right hand and for the left; through honor and dishonor, through slander and praise. We are treated as impostors, and yet are true; as unknown, and yet well known; as dying, and behold, we live; as punished, and yet not killed; as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, yet possessing everything." 2 Cor.6:3-10

I pray that I nobody finds fault in Christ by seeing me, so that I may experience "having nothing, yet possessing everything" in my darkest hour. Even though I haven't -- and won't -- sufficiently be able to obey Him all the time, every time, I do know that what I care for most, I'll do the most for. For example, what would I walk 500 miles for? [Yeah, this part I stole from church today ;)] I would walk 500 miles for Jesus. I'm pretty sure of that too. I just pray that I can say that in the most difficult times of my life too.

Trusting

Personally, I'm really bad at trusting, which is honestly, very strange. I know many trustworthy people. Somehow, I still manage to doubt -- and unfortunately, I'm pretty good at it. Today I read Genesis 12:10-20. In this story, Abram temporarily moves to Egypt because of a famine. However, like any good husband, he knows men will notice Sarai, his wife, because she's "beautiful." So Abram thinks, "I'll be killed, but Sarai will be spared because the Egyptians will want her for themselves." Thus, he makes a plan: "Sarai, tell everyone you're my sister. That way, you'll not only be treated well, but I'll also live ... and I like living." And what do you know? Abram was right. The Egytians note her beauty -- just imagine the whistling and pick up lines as they pass through the land -- even Pharaoh's officials notice, and tell their Pharaoh of how hot she is, so Pharaoah invites Abram and Sarai to his palace. Abram was treated well for Sarai's sake. But to Pharaoh and his household's surprise, the Lord inflicts disease upon them! Logically, he calls in Abram and asks, "What have you done to me?! Why did you lie to me and say Sarai was your sister? Why did you let me take her, but not tell me she's your fricken' WIFE?! Take her and go!" Then Abram, upon the Pharaoh's orders, are sent on their way, "with his wife and everything he had" (Gen. 12:20).

I find this sort of a humerous story. However, this shows God's grace on Abram, by allowing him, his wife, and everything he had to go on safely! Abram didn't trust that God would protect him and his wife, even though he was just trying to do what was right. I wonder if he asked God what he should do before he left on his trip. I wonder if he complained, saying, "My way is hidden from the LORD; my cause is disregarded by my God" (Isaiah 40:27). Who knows? One can tell by his actions that he wanted to protect like any good husband; that's a give in. But to me, it also shows Abram's inability to just trust God that everything's going to be okay. I suppose in today's society it is easy to not trust someone, even though God is more trustworthy than any human being on earth! Do we not know? Have we not heard? "The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom" (Isaiah 40:28). Why don't we trust Him all the time? Why do we doubt that we can't handle something? I love the saying, "If God brought you to it, He'll bring you through it." Even when we make a mistake like Abram, He works through it. If we know Him, we'll trust Him, because He never forsakes those who seek Him (Psalm 9:10). Jesus showed me Proverbs 8:34-36 recently, and I think it's fitting for today's post:

"Blessed is the man who listens to me,
Watching daily at my gates,
Waiting at the posts of my doors.
For whoever finds me finds life,
And obtains favor from the LORD;
But he who sins against me wrongs his own soul;
All those who hate me love death.”

I pray I can watch daily for Him; wait patiently for doors to open and close; and lastly, find favor in the Lord. Love never fails. I hope the Creator of love itself can guide me -- and you too! "How he loves us all ..............." I hope I never forget. I hope I trust the rest of my life in His love.

Pure Bliss

"Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise." James 12:13

Indeed, thanks for asking, I am quite happy today! I had a good day; one of those days where you are just happy all day long and think Jesus is too amazing to be real! I got to talk to my best friend tonight, and she is such a blessing in my life. I don't know what I'd do without her. I thank God everytime I remember her (Philippians 1:3) -- well, almost always. But hey, nobody is perfect! :) I sung my praise to my Jesus in the car, because that's some of my quality time with Jesus, interestingly enough ;) As Psalm 100:2 says, "Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs." He's our Lord, Savior, Counselor, Best Friend, etc. He is just so AWESOME. I feel like I'm degrading him when I use a word so inefficent to describe him sometimes, but it's true! He is ....... awesome.

Although, I know some of you reading this probably aren't happy like I am today. Maybe you had a really crappy day; week; month; year; I don't know. When times are hard, they can really impact your life. Circumstances can wipe you out. But God calls us to "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" (1 Thessalonians 5:18). I know that's hard. I don't know what you're going through. I try not to expect or understand how you're feeling either. (If you want to talk about it, I am always open.) But if you're a Jesus follower like me, you're my family -- I want to walk and pray with you. For my close friends, I already do so, and "thank God for all of you and continually mention you" in my prayers (1 Thessalonians 1:2).

As I reflected on just how blessed I am (which I'm sure I always underestimate), I read Ecclesiastes 7:14, which says, "When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider this: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, no one can discover anything about their future." That verse hit me. Times are good, so I'm really happy right now! But this verse gives us a reality check. When times are good, they're going to get bad again. But for all of you suffering in tribulation, take heart: when times are bad, they're going to get better. God never loses control of the situation, but things change. What's the one thing that never changes though? Jesus. Therefore, let us be "joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer" to the one and only steady thing in our lives (Romans 12:12).

A Couple Poems and a Rainbow

In my American Lit. class today, we read a couple poems that stood out to me. One was Richard Corey by Edwin Arlington Robinson and the other was George Gray by Edgar Lee Masters. Robinson depicts a man who has everything (the title "Richard Corey" is supposed to remind us of this guy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_I_of_England). As you read the poem, a standard forms in your mind that makes you praise and respect Corey as a great man, like he's a king. But in the end, Corey puts a bullet to his head and kills himself. In my last post, I said I have a heart for the elderly and poor, but I also have a sort of sympathy for the rich (which is weird, I know). I think it's devestating to see someone with everything they could ever want, yet have absolutely nothing to treasure after this life. As Mark 8:36-37 says, "For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? For what can a man give in return for his soul?"

That's when you look at Masters' poem, George Gray: a man who regrets not living life when he had the chance. Here's the poem below:

I have studied many times
The marble which was chiseled for me --
A boat with a furled sail at rest in a harbor.
In truth it pictures not my destination
But my life.
For love was offered me and I shrank from its disillusionment;
Sorrow knocked at my door, but I was afraid;
Ambition called to me, but I dreaded the chances.
Yet all the while I hungered for meaning in my life.
And now I know that we must lift the sail
And catch the winds of destiny
Wherever they drive the boat.
To put meaning in one's life may end in madness,
But life without meaning is the torture
Of reslessness and vague desire --
It is a boat longing for the sea and yet afraid.

When I die, I don't want people to say, "Oh, Becca, the one who was too afraid to do anything" or "Becca, the weak one in everything." I want people to say, "Becca made a difference. She didn't let life's circumstances bring her down. She was brave. She loved so much we all feared her heart might burst with it. But above all, she followed Jesus -- and it showed." I don't mean that in an egotistical way. I just want to leave this life knowing I lived with meaning, unlike the above poem. That way, I can hear my Father's voice tell me, "Well done, good and faithful servant!" when I reach heaven (Matthew 25:23).
I read about when God first sets the rainbow in the sky this morning, signifying his covenant to never flood the earth again (Gen. 9:12-16). So many times you must weep for the earth when You remember all that has happened. But then, after the rain, you set Your beautiful rainbow in the sky and remind Yourself, "No, I will never flood the entire earth again to wipe out mankind. I love my children." Let's be a witness for Christ; His sunshine in the lives of others so they tell themselves, "I want that." As Lord Byron wrote,

"Be thou the rainbow in the storms of life. The evening beam that smiles the clouds away, and tints tomorrow with prophetic ray."

God's Purpose (and the Homeless)

How many times have you heard the phrase, "follow your heart" or "follow your passions" (if not, imagine an Italian man saying those phrases ;) Most people believe that your life purpose goes in hand with something you're passionate about. Many times this proves to be a great idea; Christian or non-Christian. While God calls us to act through our passions, He also calls us to act outside our comforts. Take Noah and the flood, for example. I'm sure after God told Noah to build an ark wasn't like, "yesss! I'm stoked to build an enormous boat to put my family and a bunch of animals in!" ......... or maybe he did, I wasn't there :) Today, if we saw Noah building an ark, we might think he's a complete lunatic (Evan Almighty, anyone? haha). I'm sure people reacted the same way in Noah's time. But how many times has God called you to do something outside of your comfort zone? You're always glad you did it in the end. In fact, sometimes, a single act outside your comfort zone can lead to a lifelong passion. What's His call on your life? I've been called to do several things, yet I have taken hardly any action on behalf of the nudging. One of these days, I'm gonna get a kick in the butt for it, I just know it -- that is, if I don't take action. If only I had more faith and trust in Him!

My brother and I, after his jujitsu class tonight, went through the drive-thru at McDonald's. As I'm leaving, I reach a stoplight. I pause, and notice a man on his bike with a guitar in his hand -- clearly homeless. Two things God has set on my heart that I have yet put little effort into are the elderly and homeless. Tonight, my heart went out to this man with his guitar. I thought, "maybe he's an extremely talented guitarist. But how would I know? How would anyone know? Hardly anyone pays attention -- let alone respects -- the homeless."

So often, I pray for Him to reveal His will to me. In reality, He reveals His will all the time to me! But it's not what I want Him to reveal. To simplify, sometimes, I sit and stare at a phone that's not ringing. I'm just waiting for my chance to pounce on that phone call on the first ring. Meanwhile, I'm too busy staring and waiting for the call that I don't even acknowledge my vibrating butt from the cell phone God's calling in my pocket! I'm selfish; prideful. I want to know God's will on my question, not God's call on my life. If I ask for God's will, but get a response seemingly off subject, than most likely, it's not off subject! I have to learn how to focus on God's call, purpose, and will for me, even if it doesn't seem relevant or make sense.

God had a purpose for Noah. God has a purpose in my life. God has a purpose for you. God has a purpose for your children. God has a purpose for your children's children! He has a purpose for each and every one of us to fill. Let's find favor with God, like Noah, who "did all that God commanded him" (Gen. 6:22). Don't fall short of His call for you.

The Political Systems of the World Explained ................. with Cows

Sadly, I cannot take credit for this brilliant piece of work ;) I'm a bit of a nerd, so when my friend reposted it, I was thoroughly entertained XD "Colton Dumont," my friend's friend, posted this here: http://www.google.com/buzz/coltondumont/6jxT4wh5bPu/A-brief-summary-of-political-systems-of-the-world Enjoy :)

God Loves Even the Lowest

Cain and Abel.
Most Christians know the story of Adam and Eve's children. Cain brought the Lord fruit from the ground, and Abel brought the best of his flock, but the Lord only regards Abel's offerings -- not Cain's (Genesis 4:3-5). Eventually, Cain grows so upset that he murders his own brother (verse 8). God responds, "What have you done? The voice of your brother's blood is crying to me from the ground" (verses 10-11) and places a curse upon Cain. Cain says to the Lord, "My punishment is greater than I can bear [...] and whoever finds me will kill me" (verses 13-14). But God responds, "Not so! If anyone kills Cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold" (verse 15).
I took away two things from this story.
1) The Lord only accepts our best. Even if we give our best, we have to have the best attitude with it, too!
2) God loves us so, so much. I know that (and hopefully you know that too. If not, ask me about His love!). But verse 15 particularly stuck out to me. God had more respect, per say, of Abel. But He didn't love Cain any less. God actually says He'd punish Cain's killer seven times more, even though Cain himself murdered! God accepts us for who we were, who we are, and who we will be. In other words, He loves us no matter what.
Don't you love that? I sure do :)

One Day; Three Lessons

I'm definitely not a morning person, but God's an all-day guy :) I woke up to Psalm 143:8 (on Facebook haha). I love his "good morning" greetings. He's awesome. Like I said, God's an all-day sorta guy, so I learned not one ... not two ... but three things today :) and all I did (for once) was stay at home!

Lesson #1: Directly after breakfast, while enjoying my coffee, I had an epiphamy, word for word:

"When you're selfish, nothing is enough. When you're not, everything is too much."

Let's marinate that thought and put it in our little fying pan we call a brain, shall we? ;) As far as I know, that quote is original! When that thought popped up into my head, I realized how very true that quote is.

Lesson #2: John 6:16-21. "Now when evening came, His disciples went down to the sea, and after getting into a boat, they started to cross the sea to Capernaum. It had already become dark, and Jesus had not yet come to them. The sea began to be stirred up because a strong wind was blowing. Then, when they had rowed about three or four miles, they saw Jesus walking on the sea and drawing near to the boat; and they were frightened. But He said to them, 'It is I; do not be afraid.' So they were willing to recieve Him into the boat, and immediately the boat was at the land to which they were going."

Today, I saw this in a new light. When we try to do things on our own, it doesn't normally work out. A lot of times, we get impatient, so we set off without Him, fingers crossed, hoping everything works out for the best. But then, a storm arises -- a spiritual storm -- that knocks us down and beats us up until spiritually, physically, and/or mentally, we just can't handle it anymore. We're ready to give up, when Jesus walks into the scene of trial in our life; sometimes, it's hard to accept Him after all that's happened. But He says, "It is I; do not be afraid." But He only comes when we're "willing to recieve Him." To break it down ... The price of setting off in a boat: $10. The price of losing boat pieces and buying new parts: $40. The price of counseling from seeing Jesus walk on water: $60. The rewards of Christ in our lives: priceless. When we accept Him, not only is there a calm in the storm, but eventually, that storm will end.

Lesson #3: Genesis 3:1. In this verse, the serpent asks Eve, "Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?" Look at the serpent's word choice: "Did God really say ... " Interesting, isn't it? This verse specifies that the serpent is crafty enough to place doubt in our minds. Doubt is one of the first steps to unbelief. But as Benjamin Franklin said, "When in doubt, don't." Jesus constantly says, "you of little faith" to people. Even Matthew's account mentions after Peter doubts Jesus, "You of little faith [...] why did you doubt?" (Matthew 14:31) If we have faith that was even as small as a mustard seed, we could tell a tree, "Be uprooted and planted in the sea," and it will obey us (Luke 17:6). If only we had faith ...
Jesus is the most faithful person that ever walked -- or will walk -- this earth. Don't doubt. Instead, depend (on Him).

Being Content and Thankful

Tonight, I read Psalm 30. David praises God in his Psalm, thanking Him for all He has done. In fact, David says he wants to give Him credit for his glory, that he "may sing your praise and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever!" (Psalm 30:12).  Today, in the sermon at church today, Pastor Meek said we need to warn and share because God cares. We should care too! Honestly, we all go through trials, including David. Sometimes, we forget others have problems, and think we're the only ones with real pain, real hardship, and real suffering -- but that's all false. If I need Jesus, doesn't everybody else? If that's true, then why don't I try harder to build God's kingdom? Basically, I'M A WEENIE. I'm too shy to introduce God to the perfect lover, best friend, wonderful counselor, and author of creation itself.

I think part of being bold is thanking God, rather than asking God out of insecurity. All I need is Christ. But two things: First, is Christ all I need? Yes. Do I truly believe Christ is all I need? ... idk, you tell me. What about you? Is Christ all you need? Do you believe Christ is truly all you need? To quote my last Biblical passage blog post, "Think over what I say, for the Lord will give you understanding in everything" (2 Tim. 2:7). Second, He has given me WAY more than I even deserve! Again, maybe I sound redundant by echoing my "God's will" post, but when we ask God for things, it's usually for our own gain, am I wrong? I know that's true for me. But let's face it: we're supposed to be content with just Him. We are to "Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus" (1 Thessalonians 5:18). He's supposed to be good enough -- and He is good enough!

David thanks God for his goodness. Not just sometimes, but all the time. He continually thanks God, through whatever storm or sun-shiny day he experiences. Should we not thank God everyday for His steadfast love and faithfulness as well? As one of my favorite passages in the Bible says, in Lamentations 3:40, "Let us test and examine our ways, and return to the Lord!" Amen.

2 Timothy 2 is Incredible

So, I have the privilege of reading 2 Timothy 2, which Christ lovingly pointed out to me. I think I'm in love ;) This chapter is very relevant to me. You can read the entire chapter for yourself below to pray and ponder over; maybe He'll teach you something like He constantly does for me.
2 Timothy Chapter 2

A Good Soldier of Christ Jesus
"You then, my child, be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus, and what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also. Share in suffering as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to please the one who enlisted him. An athlete is not crowned unless he competes according to the rules. It is the hard-working farmer who ought to have the first share of the crops. Think over what I say, for the Lord will give you understanding in everything.
Remember Jesus Christ risen from the dead, the offspring of David, as preached in my gospel, for which I am suffering, bound with chains as a criminal. But the word of God is not bound! Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they also may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory. The saying is trustworthy, for:

If we have died with him,we will also live with him;
if we endure, we will also reign with him;
if we deny him, he also will deny us;
if we are faithless, he remains faithful --

for he cannot deny himself."

A Worker Approved by God
"Remind them of these things, and charge them before God not to quarrel about words, which does no good, but only ruins the hearers. Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth. But avoid irreverent babble, for it will lead people into more and more ungodliness, and their talk will spread like gangrene. Among them are Hymenaeus and Philetus, who have swerved from the truth, saying that the resurrection has already happened. They are upsetting the faith of some. But God's firm foundation stands, bearing this seal: 'The Lord knows those who are his,' and 'Let everyone who names the name of the Lord depart from iniquity.'

Now in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver but also of wood and clay, some for honorable use, some for dishonorable. Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work.

So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will."

God's Will [My First "Real" Post]

I chose a heavier topic for my first "real" post, but hey, might as well dive in wholeheartedly, right? I have two reasons I'm posting it now. First, because I've been curious about what others think. Second, because I am excited about my new blog, haha. With that said, let's look at what I wrote a little before my speech and debate tournament at Concordia :)

Do you know the history of Martin Luther? What do you know about him? In my study for one of my speeches (yeah, nerd status), I learned a little more about this guy. For example, I think God makes His will pretty clear that he wanted Luther to be a monk -- like, so clear that lightning nearly strikes him! Oh wait, that is what happened. Apparently, Luther was already thinking about becoming a monk. But at the time, he was attending law school. On his walk home from class one day, a lightning struck so close to him that his body was thrown to the ground by the pressure. In response, Luther, out of exasperation, cries out, "I'll become a monk!" So, how is this relevant to you? How is it relevant to me? How does this apply to anyone?

How often do you pray for God's will? I'll assume often. I'm almost always searching for Him (and when I'm not, let's just say things don't look so hot for me). Many times, I pray to make God's will as clear to me as it was with Luther. I'll literally be like, "I need something as clear as a smack in the face. I'd rather be slapped and know than recieve chocolate in the shape of bunnies and not know Your will." In other words, I ask for a slap in the face. After all, if I ask, it will be given; if I seek (Him), I'll find (Him); if I know, then the door will open for me. Why? Because anyone who asks, recieves; whoever seeks, finds; whoever knocks, will find an open door (Matthew 7:7-8). But wait, if all this is true -- which it is -- then why don't I always see God's will?!

God's action for Luther to become a monk makes it clear to me that God had a plan and purpose for him. If so, maybe it's good He does not always make His will as clear to me as He did for Luther. Today, scholars after scholars study and reflect on Luther's life. Does He have a plan for me? Absolutely. Do I know what it is? Absolutely not (if I did, it'd be like checkmate on the first move). What if many, many years from now -- when I'm long dead, sitting in my grave and disintegrating (lovely, I know :) -- someone discovers my writings, such as my journals and, dare I say, blog posts? XD If God makes His will clear to me -- as clear as lightning -- then it's pretty obvious God wants me to take action, right? I think so. And if he doesn't make His will that clear to me, and I make a decision based off of what I think is God's will, then that leaves scholars to debate my choice. Actually, anyone could read my writings and wonder if I made a good decision or not. As one pastor told me, a lot of times, God probably just wants us to actually make a decision (within reason, as in not sinning haha). Even 1 Kings 18:21 begs the question, “How long will you waver between two opinions? If the LORD is God, follow him." Yeah, I regret a lot of things I've done. Yeah, I wish I could fix a lot of things I've done. But can I change those things? No; only be forgiven. But when it's Jesus, that's enough, and He's able to work through all my mistakes.

In conclusion ............... I think God has His reasons for not spelling out His will to me sometimes. I don't think I'll ever completely understand. I do have a few hunches though. One, in my opinion, I think He likes to spice up our lives sometimes. Second, God proves His almighty and righteous side by going, "I'm WAY bigger than you or ANY of your desires. If you recieve anything, remember, it's from ME, the big guy. Don't you dare forget. But I love you, more than You'll ever comprehend, so I want to bless You as much as my plan allows." Lastly, He wants us to fix our focus. When we ask God, "what's your will for me?" or "what's your plan for me?" it is more often than not a selfish act. In reality, I'm just a stupid, impatient creature sometimes. I'll demand, "God, I want an answer. I'm tired of waiting around. All I want to know is if this is the right direction. Can't you just give me a sign?" and He's saying, "Girl, can't you just give me a break? Love me; be content with just Me, your Father. I've got a plan; don't You worry about it."

Props to you if you read this whole thing btw. I don't know if I would have hahaha :) if you have more time -- in other words, you're bored enough to read more -- you can read this article too, titled, "Weighing God's Yes and No": http://teampyro.blogspot.com/2007/01/weighing-gods-yes-and-no.html Great article.

~Your Negative Exhorter

First Post!

Okay, let me just say, I love, love, loveeee writing! I've thought about blogging for a long time, since it's just an extension of journaling, which I already do. For all my numerous followers (ha), I hope you enjoy my posts to come :)